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Chakras for Beginners

Annabelle MannJanuary 31, 2018

I am Annabelle, I’m 25 & I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I cry mostly everyday & my room is messy as fuck and I don’t like it when it’s cold. i miss my mom when I don’t see her for a day. I am afraid of the dark & I still sleep with a night light. I consistently have dark circles under my eyes & im self conscious about my nose & my chin & my lips & my thighs & my tummy & the cellulite on my ass... I ate vegan Mac n cheese and peanut butter cups for dinner and definitely didn’t drink enough water today. I’m scared that if someone sees the real true ugly&fucked up in me that they couldn’t possibly love me. I’ve traveled many places in the world all by myself & am still scared to walk from my car to my home at night. Somedays I can’t get out of bed besides to pee & get more potato chips. I’m almost never on time. I sometimes neglect the people who show up & love me the most cause I’m always chasing after people who couldn’t give less of a fuck about me. I want people to like me. I care what people think. I choose the pretty photos to post. I have fears of commitment & intimacy. I break out, I get BO, I have a 70s bush & armpit hair & my front right tooth is chipped. I get the most beautiful & kind messages from you guys sharing your love & energy & admiration for what I share & what you see on this platform but I just want to remind you that you don’t see the me who hasn’t showered in 4 days & has been bawling her eyes out because I feel so ugly & so incapable & so unlovable by even myself. Somedays I feel on top of the world & other days I don’t. But don’t for one second think I’m anything different than you are, when you’re alone in your head. I fucking love you & I hope you keep going one foot in front of the other n never stop asking why or following ur dreams. Here’s to being human as fuck. 👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽

still trying to figure out what it means to be a “woman” how to shed the skin of my youth & fully embody this powerful balance of masculine & feminine energy & express myself in all ways I see fit, with out restrictions or boundaries or fear or shame. It still blows my mind that in 2019 I have to put a little glimmer of light on top of my nipple & then it’s “appropriate”. I am struggling to balance the little girl inside of me who feels the need for protection & guidance & structure & the WOMBAN who is all-knowing, divine, sensual, empowered. I fear that I must let go of the stories I told myself as a young girl to be able to step into my light as a woman, it’s scary to let go of the comforts of what you know to jump into the abyss of the unknown & the unfoldment of what’s to come. I don’t feel “ready” but I feel squished & squeezed so tightly that I can’t even stand to be stuck in an old story & it’s forcing me into a new timeline. It’s so fucking uncomfortable because the old things that brought me comfort- no longer do- & I don’t know what will bring safety & comfort in the future yet, so I feel a blend of being squished between two boulders & the space is getting smaller & smaller while simultaneously feeling like im falling through the night sky passing by stars grasping on to anything that might hold me, realizing I can only hold myself... an evolution. Feeling alone in the process, scared to share the vulnerable pieces that are being brought to the surface. But here I am. This photograph was captured by the multi-talented @yomiroyando whom I love & adore for @thegoddessmirrorproject

YOO my heart. 🙈🖤🙏🏼 thank u all so much for da love love on my music n video. I am so appreciative. 🌹 plz tag ur favorite artists- whether that be urself or a famous musician or a painter or a photographer or a chef or a dancer or ur best friend that draws cool doodles in their notebook. I love seeing what others are creating & i will share your/their art in my story 🖤 tryna keep da love n support goin n flowin. Blessings :::

YOO it’s fucking crazy how one day I can be buzzing with happiness, feeling free & excited & inspired & motivated. Getting up & moving my body & looking forward to each day. Then all of a sudden I wake up & I can’t even get myself the fuck out of bed. The thought of trying to take a shower & get dressed & be a part of the world sounds so fucking daunting. I literally just want to curl into a ball & stay in my bed all day. Sometimes I allow myself to, but sometimes I’m like no dude, u need to get up. Take a fucking shower. Put on some clothes and go be in the world. At least do something. I am mustering all my strength to write a fucking to do list & check off just like 3 things. So if ur having one of those days jus know you aren’t alone. It’s okay to feel all the feelings & to move slow. Be nice to urself. Don’t put too much pressure & take care even when it feels impossible. The little things like a shower or a glass of water actually help so much. Take 5 minutes to breathe, go inside of yourself. Quiet the thoughts & remember there is beauty in the darkness. Sending all my love & encouragement & healing. & please send me the energy to get out of bed & take a shower rn it’s fucking 10:48 AM I need to get it the fuck together !!! HAHA luv u. Luv u. Luv u.

SMILE BACK AT ME MOFO ! WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE ?!?!??! Lately I been feelin like lemon apple beet ginger juice & squats & gallons of water & tangerines & clear quartz & dancing in the mirror for no one but myself, smiling at strangers & feeling textures with my tongue. My grandmas corduroys & striped tees from Asia & deep deep breaths & Lofi beats & finding my voice & shaved legs & patchouli & sandalwood & soft hands & double knotted kicks & natural lighting & beehives & espresso & vitamin B12 & messy room & curiosity & temptation & screaming till I cry & ideas & ideas & ideas. I love u. Smile 🐝

I don’t wanna let no fear, guide me no more
I don’t wanna let no fear,
in through my door :::—:::—:::
I’m the mann with the plan I kick it hard in the trees then dip to foreign lands, i’m my own right hand ~ left is for creation & imagination. Liberation of my OWN mind; from time to time I get a sign that I’m following too straightuhline & so maybe i needa rewind n redefine what my purpose is- or - maybe I need to realign my nervousness & just dive the fuck in. i Desire recalibration & re-evaluation so salutations to all, see ya in the land of creations. :::—:::—:::

::: my ancestors live inside my eyes::: what do you see ? What do you feel ? I’m listening~👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽

Tryna figure out who’s who
If I’m green or if I’m blue
Think I grew
Grown
Can’t tell if I’m home
Or if I feel alone & maybe I don’t find love in the places that it’s shown
But I kno I can dive inside n cultivate my own
Do u feel at home within yourself ?
Been spending a lot of time with myself lately - intentional time spent alone. To sit outside & eat a tangerine & smoke a spliff. To lay on my back & listen to a song fully, each instrument, the lyrics, the cadence, with out distraction. Taking deep breaths. Cleansing myself & my space. Covering my body in coconut oil. Massaging my own body. Playing with my own hair. Feeling the sun on my eyelids. Being fully present in moments with myself & remembering who the fuck I am. What the fuck I want. Remembering that my potential is infinite. How we spend our time shows YAH exactly what we want more of. I desire, crave, am fully open to, am receiving abundance in all forms, true honest love with self & others, confidence in my abilities, safety & comfortability in my own skin, to speak my truth & feel protected in my vulnerability, surreal amounts of support, encouragement, inspiration & motivation, messages & influence from the divine, creative freedom, healthy sexual energy, emotional release, & large amounts of joy, laughter, bliss, synchronicities, & beyond. Here I am. I am here. & my growth is exponential.

a moment I’ll cherish for ever- a spliff on my balcony with my best friends before I closed that chapter. I like nice, warm, natural light & the patterns in the smoke off a spliff, I like staying up to date with the trends that resonate n Neva forgettin where I started, where I came from, my original inspirations & the roots which nurture these branches I am reaching with. My ancestors speak with me, feel with me, guide me. I am wrapped in love, support, encouragement & constructive criticism. I am a creator in all realms & YAH speak through me. I am blessed beyond fucking belief & I will never stop rolling with the waves & letting goddess speak through me, move through me, create through me. My art is for the love of creating. Period. & I am reminded to keep my mind & heart inline with this intention consistently. Sometimes in the darkest depths is where I feel most connected. So here I am. Diving deeper. Let’s see how long I can hold my breath, or if imma learn to breathe here. 🖤 🎞📷: @soodthedood, I’m also surrounded by the most inspiring creators 👂🏽

i re-invent myself every moment, every day, as often as I am inspired to. I refuse to fit in any box. Step outside the lines. Fuck run the fuck outside the lines & play a lil. Stop taking everything so damn seriously. Play with your identity, dance with your ego(s), smoke weed if u wanna, drink coffee if u wanna, talk shit if u wanna & express love if u wanna. You are not responsible for anyone else’s experience or reactions. Trigger them, make them think, make them feel, create movement within them by creating movement within yourself. Dance, fuck, sleep, eat, cry, yell, scream, laugh, orgasm, clap your hands, move to your own fucking rhythm. Listen to urself & dive the fuck in🖤

I don’t wanna have NO shame in my game whether I’m searching for fame or bein lame in some yellow frames playin games u can’t tame
ME
U can’t save
ME
imma save myself
I got love, laughter, depth
All different types of wealth & i see u tryna change me
Rearrange me so I fit the mold
How many times do I gotta tell u I’ve never once done what I was told
I’m ice cold
I’m cooler than cool
Imma kick back relax, count 3 stacks & play wax
Vinyls every day
A different sound can inspire a different way
Of contemplating the space
you reside in
start decidin
To let go of your grasp
Why’s it so tight
Hands clasped
It don’t even feel right
So imma fly off into the night & space ships don’t come equipped with rear view mirrors
They dip as quick as they can
so I’ll catch u later, maybe-
Fuck the wagon, come join the band

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